


when you love someone and they

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-12
Updated: 2020-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:26:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23116936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	when you love someone and they

"I can't."

Louis hears him before he sees him. "Zayn, I know-"

"No, I can't." Louis watches him come around the corner. Louis is still stunned at the 22 year old in front of him. He seems so much older than the Zayn- well. So much older than the Zain that Louis had known. 22 shouldn't look that old. 

"You see something you like?" Zayn gives Louis the ghost of a smile. 

"Sorry. I just forget it's not home sometimes."

Zayn sighs. "I miss home, Louis."

"I know-"

"No, really. I meant it when I said I can't." He runs a hand over his face. With all the ink on them its hard to tell how bony they are. "Please."

"I-" Louis watches the hand fall from Zayn's face. He sizes him from where his hand had come to rest at his side, all the way up to his eyes. "When did you get a little taller than me?" Louis presses the question out of his mouth.

"Please." Zayn asks again. 

"We have such a good thing going, Zayn. Just sleep on it. You'll feel better. Let me make you some tea." Louis is all too aware of what Zayn is going to say-

"You're not my mum."

And what he says next.

"No, but I am my mum. Have a seat." He gestures to the hotel bed with the sheets, messily made from the morning. Louis hadn't lied down to sleep yet. Zayn presses his lips together and climbs into Louis' bed. He rests his head on the pillow and sighs. Louis pretends not to hear.

"I wanna go home, Louis."

Louis swallows the lump in his throat while he switches on the electric kettle. "It's not long now. This tour's almost over. Almost over, yeah? Then we'll have some time off. We can take as much as we need."

"Don't do that." 

"I'm not lying, Zayn. We're almost there."

"I'm not your real brother, Louis. You have a family." Louis hears him sit up, but doesn't turn to face him. "I have a family. I miss them."

"Fuck off. You spend more time with me than I've spent with my siblings in the past five years." Louis returns shortly. 

"You don't see anything wrong with that? Niall does." Zayn still sits on Louis' bed, hands on his knees. His shirt is thin and Louis can see his chest rise and fall as he breaths.

Louis eyes Zayn, darting between both of Zayn's. "You didn't come to Niall at five in the morning. You came to me." 

Louis turns back towards his kettle and pours two cups of tea. 

"You miss them, Louis. There's nothing wrong with missing them."

"I can't think about it." Louis brings the cups to the bed and sits beside Zayn, his sweats bunching around his calf.

Zayn sighs and holds his cup, staring into the dark water. The single light from the bedside table dances over his face.

"We don't even share a bed anymore Louis. It's a pain in the ass to even get connecting rooms. Everything changed." 

Louis frowns. The sun will come up soon. Everything's better when the sun comes up.

"I'm not happy." Zayn's eyes flicker up to Louis'. He holds them there for a moment, before turning them back to the mug in front of him as he takes a sip.

"That can change."

"You can't change it, Louis. You're only Superman to me."

Louis shifts so Zayn can't watch his eyes water.

"Please don't make me."

"Just let me go. The rest of them will."

"You know that's not true." Louis looks at Zayn and shows more emotion than he wanted to. Zayn knits his eyebrows.

"Don't look at me like that."

"Then don't say things like that."

Zayn turns towards the counter with the kettle, away from Louis. 

"Just. Finish your tea. Please, Zayn."

And in silence, they take sips and sit in the dark hotel room. They lean into the quiet and lean into each other. Zayn rests his head on Louis' shoulder. 

They finish their tea. 

"I have-" Zayn starts.

"Hold on." Louis shifts, letting Zayn take his head off Louis' shoulder before pulling himself off the bed. He comes around the side. "Just hold on." He mumbles. He takes his and Zayn's cups and goes to rinse them. 

Zayn watches, running his thumbs over Louis' sheets. He watches Louis put the cups on a towel next to the sink and wipe his hands on his front, as if he were wiping them on an apron. Zayn always thought that was so stupid. He'd miss it.

Louis made his way back to the bed, holding his hand out to Zayn. Once Zayn reached back, he pulled him up into a hug. 

"You tell 'em I say hi. And I love 'em." Louis mumbles into Zayn's shoulder. He rubs a thumb on the middle of Zayn's back. 

"Yeah, of course. And yours." Zayn returns, placing a hand on the back of Louis' head.

"If I call you, you pick up your fucking phone, alright?"

"Yeah, if you call during business hours."

Louis rolls his eyes behind the lids. He smiles into Zayn.

They stand a moment in another comfortable silence. There's a pit to it though, like there won't be another one soon. Louis grips Zayn a little tighter. 

"They'll understand." Louis offers for reassurement. Zayn pushes them out of the hug, gently, and moves his hand down the side of Louis' neck, and then lightly claps it on the side of Louis' shoulder.

"No, Louis. I need them to let me go."

Louis searches Zayn's eyes. "They'll forgive you for breaking their hearts, mate." He gives Zayn a half smile.

"They won't forgive me for breaking yours." 

The words hang in the air. Louis swallows like he's swallowing cottonballs.

"I forgive you."

Zayn turns so fast Louis thinks he's gonna fall over. He's at the door in a few steps. The room is the darkest its been all night. 

He stops before he reaches the handle and, slowly, shuffles back around towards Louis.

"I'll be seeing you, Clark."

Louis' breath catches.

"Take care, Bruce."

Zayn's out the door before he lets Louis see him cry.

Louis touches both of his arms, runs his hands over his thighs. He makes his way back to bed. He lies down, facing the window, and watches the first light of the morning break over through the glass. And he can't stop crying. 


End file.
